Monday, January 11, 2010

Do You Wonder???

I know there are a lot of adoptive moms that read my blog.  And I want to know if you wonder?

Do you wonder if your child’s birth mother thinks about them and how often?  Do they remember their kids on their birthdays? Do they think of what it would have been like to spend a birthday with them and watch them unwrap presents?  Do they still love them deep down in their heart?  Do they hand a special ornament on their Christmas Tree in memory of the child that they couldn’t keep?  Do they care?  I wonder!

I don’t know what got me to thinking about it… maybe it was the huge smiles I got tonight and the kisses that Jacob is starting to give.  I wonder if his mom thinks about the kisses she is missing out on?  It’s not like she really had a choice!  In Ukraine, the government and society make it almost impossible to keep children with disabilities.  No programs etc, but how do these women feel about their kids?  Do they wish deep down in their heart that they could keep these children and experience life with their children or are they happy to just get rid of them because they are not “typical”?? 

……I wonder!

5 comments:

Molly said...

I wonder this. I have no children but I have dated a number of adopted guys. I wonder this CONSTANTLY. I wonder if she thought of him on his birthday, she knows his real birthday and we don't because his orphanage didn't have records of it. I wonder if she is even still alive, or if she sees his other siblings. I wonder if she wonders about him. Does she know he's in the military? Does she know he has a purple heart? Can she feel it in her heart? He doesn't even know if she's alive and that kills me.

Kathleen said...

Yes. I wonder and sometimes I feel sad that their birthmothers are missing out on getting to know these kids. I get to enjoy them everyday. Their birth mothers are the ones who are left wondering how things turned out for these children. Like you say, these women didn't have a lot of choice. both my adopted children have special needs and they have so many more options here than they would have there. I hope she knows somewhere in her heart that they are loved and cared for.

Lyndi said...

Oh yes, I wonder this often. I wondered it when I landed on U.S. soil, "what would his mom think if she knew he was here?", I wondered on Christmas "I wonder if his mom and dad have other kids that open presents, do they think of what they would be buying him if he were still with them?" and I wondered on his birthday a couple weeks ago, I grieved for his mom on that day. That's not a day you can just forget. I wonder when he learns new words or does something cute. And then, I think God for giving him to me and I pray peace for his mom and hope she somehow knows that she gave me the BEST gift in the world. But, yes, I wonder that a LOT!

Missy said...

I wonder, too...

Annie said...

There is a bond between mother and child from conception, and I believe she would think often of the child. Feelings of sadness, guilt, maybe anger at society, or sadly a relief from the responsibility, and continuing wonder of where the child is and if they are safe. If she is human, she must wonder and think of it all her life. I imagine if she were to see that child now- loved, cuddled, healthy, growing, progressing - she would feel a flood of sadness, peace and joy all at once.