Tuesday, August 26, 2014

It's about ME!!!!

Typically I write about everyone else in our house.. about our kids and what they are doing.  Today I am taking a break from writing about the kids and writing about myself.

I am 43 years old.. I will be 44 in a couple months!  I have spent much of my adult life not liking myself.  Maybe not so much myself as in my personality, but more my body and how I look.  Many of you don't know this about me, but in 1998 I weighed in at 425 lbs.  Yes this was me......

I don't remember getting that big... but I do remember being that big and how awful I felt about myself for so many years.  I tried to diet and nothing seemed to work or give me the results that I wanted.  I walked and being 425 lbs that was an effort... didn't lose a pound.  I decided in early 1998 that I wanted to have the gastric bypass surgery.

In July of 1998 I had my surgery and so began my new life.  For those of you that think I took the easy way out.. let me tell you a little bit about me now....since surgery.  I have to have my iron checked every 6 months because I get anemic quite easily... I can't just take regular iron pills... I have to go to the hospital once a week for 6-8 weeks and have IV Iron infused into my body.  I give myself monthly injections of B-12.  I am now lactose intolerant, I can't eat a lot of sugar at any point.  I have to be careful how well I chew because things get "stuck" in my stomach opening and I end up throwing it up to "unclog" the blockage.  If I have too much sugar or too much fatty foods, I have what is called dumping syndrome.  It's not pleasant and it's not fun.  Many others have other issues after gastric bypass and everyone is different.  So I guess if that is considered the "easy way out" then YES I did it.. and I would do it over in a heartbeat.

I knew that if I didn't have it done, I would either have already had a heart attack or I would have been dead!  I can almost say this with 100% certainty.  At not even 30 years old I had the precursors for all the nasty heart issues and diabetes. 

I have lost 225 lbs.. some days its 215...I currently hover around 200 and 210lbs... YES I put that on my blog!!

It's taken me a LONG time to love my body.. A LONG time to come to terms with who I am and to love myself and embrace my curves and my stretch marks and my 43 year old saggy breasts!  I love who I am.  I am a beautiful, sexy, sensual, wonderfully fabulous real woman!  I don't wear a bikini to the pool but I do show some cleavage now and then.  The people in my life who matter to me, think I  am sexy and beautiful too.  Those that say I don't live up to the stereotypical "beautiful woman" can go to hell!  LOL  But seriously, if you don't like me..... don't look at me!  I am at peace with my body and my clothing size and I will continue to be!

So if you see me out... showing a little more than you think I should..  smile and know that I am comfortable with myself and I am ok having curves and flaunting them!


Nancy said...

Thank you for sharing this. I applaud you for speaking truth.

pspeterson said...

Thank you for the sex head look,
And walk of shame!!!! "WAY BACK THEN"
;), I love you