Typically I write about everyone else in our house.. about our kids and what they are doing. Today I am taking a break from writing about the kids and writing about myself.
I am 43 years old.. I will be 44 in a couple months! I have spent much of my adult life not liking myself. Maybe not so much myself as in my personality, but more my body and how I look. Many of you don't know this about me, but in 1998 I weighed in at 425 lbs. Yes this was me......
I don't remember getting that big... but I do remember being that big and how awful I felt about myself for so many years. I tried to diet and nothing seemed to work or give me the results that I wanted. I walked and being 425 lbs that was an effort... didn't lose a pound. I decided in early 1998 that I wanted to have the gastric bypass surgery.
In July of 1998 I had my surgery and so began my new life. For those of you that think I took the easy way out.. let me tell you a little bit about me now....since surgery. I have to have my iron checked every 6 months because I get anemic quite easily... I can't just take regular iron pills... I have to go to the hospital once a week for 6-8 weeks and have IV Iron infused into my body. I give myself monthly injections of B-12. I am now lactose intolerant, I can't eat a lot of sugar at any point. I have to be careful how well I chew because things get "stuck" in my stomach opening and I end up throwing it up to "unclog" the blockage. If I have too much sugar or too much fatty foods, I have what is called dumping syndrome. It's not pleasant and it's not fun. Many others have other issues after gastric bypass and everyone is different. So I guess if that is considered the "easy way out" then YES I did it.. and I would do it over in a heartbeat.
I knew that if I didn't have it done, I would either have already had a heart attack or I would have been dead! I can almost say this with 100% certainty. At not even 30 years old I had the precursors for all the nasty heart issues and diabetes.
I have lost 225 lbs.. some days its 215...I currently hover around 200 and 210lbs... YES I put that on my blog!!
It's taken me a LONG time to love my body.. A LONG time to come to terms with who I am and to love myself and embrace my curves and my stretch marks and my 43 year old saggy breasts! I love who I am. I am a beautiful, sexy, sensual, wonderfully fabulous real woman! I don't wear a bikini to the pool but I do show some cleavage now and then. The people in my life who matter to me, think I am sexy and beautiful too. Those that say I don't live up to the stereotypical "beautiful woman" can go to hell! LOL But seriously, if you don't like me..... don't look at me! I am at peace with my body and my clothing size and I will continue to be!
So if you see me out... showing a little more than you think I should.. smile and know that I am comfortable with myself and I am ok having curves and flaunting them!